Tired Of Being Tired

The day is long,but the night seems so short. The alarm goes off and I say, (here we go again). I want a change in my life. I need a break or a vacation or something, and yet I don't know if that will be enough. How do we really know how to enjoy our lives, when we have been living for our kids the whole time. It's like being back in school and trying to date again. I am so tired of thinking that it makes me even more tired. I love my boys, don't get me wrong, but if I would have know how much of my life was taken up with children, I would of thought about it more. We don't know what our future holds, and it all happens for a reason. I am still trying to find out what that reason is. I am just so tired of being tired. I need some spice in my life. It's hard to do what you want when the kids come first. Being a mom is the hardest job I ever did. I don't get a pay check for this job. I get other rewards that take the place of that pay check. However, it's rewarding to yourself when you do make money cause it gives you something else to do than be a mom. I feel that women in general need to feel wanted all the time. We feel good when we do a good job for someone,even if it's for our families. The sense of being fullfilled is very important to us woman. Habit by creature. I need love from all angles. I know that jesus loves me and that is very important to me. He is the reason why I keep on living and getting up everyday to venture out. I have to try something new and fun. I need a good laugh or cry. I feel like I have nobody and even sometimes I feel like I am losing myself. Again, that is where jesus pulls me out of the recage and spares me for one more day. That's all we have is a day by day book that helps keep us grounded.I will take that, it's better than nothing. So, when your feeling to tired to hold up your head ask jesus to hold it for you and he will.He wants you to ask for help,he knows you can't do it alone. He's the reason for the season,so make it a season everyday. God Bless

My Best-Friend (Tina)

Today is a very special persons birthday, My best friend, Tina. She would of been 41 today, if she was still living. She passed away about 10yrs. ago. It was a drug over dose that killed her. She had a bad heart problem as well, and her heart gave out. I miss her so much. We have been friends since the 7th gr. She watched my younger son be born. She was the kind of person who would of gave you the shirt off her back.Way to young to be gone. I went to visit her grave and put flowers there. What a gift!! She left behind three children. The children all went to different foster homes. Her husband was a drunk and drug addict. He didn't want to get clean to take care of the kids. Her youngest will never know her, he was only 2yrs. old. Her daughter was 5yrs old and her oldest son was 11yrs old. What a shame to grow up with no mom and too be seperated from your siblings. Such a crying shame. No child should have to bare this. Her marriage was bad, he beat her up so bad and put her in the hospital. She wouldn't leave him. She was afraid of being alone raising 3children. Finally, one day she realized so deserved a better life and she starting going to church every Sunday and she would help out as much as she could at the church. She changed her life around so much. She went to meetings for her additions and problems. In the mean while she got a PFA on her husband, which removed him from the house. Then, she meet a guy at one of her meetings and she started to go down hill again. Welfare took the kids from her. They were in different foster homes. She couldn't deal with that. She would of done anything for those kids. Her bringing up in her younger years were a living hell. She never knew her real father until her mother was on her death bed. She found him and also a brother she never knew about. She always felt like she never belonged anywhere. All she want was love and a family. No matter how hard she fought for it, she just kept getting let down. I am so glad she got to know the lord, before she passed. She showed me how to pray. When she passed, her family didn't care enough to give her a proper funeral. They creamated her, I know she wanted to be buried next to her mother. Didn't Happen that way. I never got to say goodbye to her. She is always in my heart and I am so glad I got to know her. We had our moments, but when push came to shove, we were always there for each other. I love her and always will. I never forget about her. In my year book she signed it NEVER SAY GOOD BYE and that is just what happened. The night before her passing she called me on a cell phone and I couldn't hear her and we got disconnected, that was the only late moment I had with her. If only I new what she was saying, I might of be able to have helped her. I will never know. In my heart I know she is happy now and she finally found the love and family she deserves. She has earned her wings and watches over me. I feel very lucky to have had her for my best friend even if it was only for a short time. The lesson that I learned was life really is to short and you can't go back, so always remember to love yourself,god,your children and your life that you have, it's all for a reason. It's a journet that we must go through and it's not easy, but as long as you have jesus that's all you need. In loving memory of Tina

Weight Loss

We all want to have the perfect body. I have an eating disorder and I am diabetic with a thyroid problem as well. I could go on an on about my problems. I take 23 pills a day. WAY too many!! So, in August it will be a year since I started to change my life with my weight. I was always use to being thin and build good. After kids,operations and other things that I battled in my life I gained alot of weight. Since August I lost 40lbs. NO DIET, NO EXERCISE. Let me tell you how I did it. It is very hard, especially because I am a food addict. I want sweets all the time but, it made me sick and I would end up in the hospital on a regular basis. They found nothing wrong each time. For only if I would stop stuffing my mouth with the wrong foods which now I call them poison. I just can't have the poison unless I want to be sick and in the hospital. NO FUN!!!! So what I did was look in my diabetic book to see what I could eat and how much. I learned that I can't have seconds for dinner. Dinner must be your biggest meal of the day. You need a carb,protein,fat and of course the calories. DO NOT eat a hoagie with a diet soda, it doesn't work that way. I eat special k ceral or multi-grain cherrios with 2% low fat milk and then a small banana. Some days I have a 1/2 a glass of diet cranberry juice or trop-50 orange juice. For lunch I have a salad or a slice of pizza or a peanut butter sandwhich on wheat bread. There is other stuff to eat as well. I also have an apple.
I have a snack late afternoon like mini rice cakes,crackers,peanuts,pretzels etc... Then dinner time. I have a small piece of a lean meat with a free veg.and 1 starch, that's it NO SECONDS. Later in the evening for a snack I have yogert or popcorn, or crakers or an apple with peanut butter or cheese stick etc....... When I stick to eating good each day then, I start to lose weight. It is a slow process, but you want to keep it off.
It's a life style change and the whole family can eat the same way, it's good for them. The key is to watch your fat content and calories. In my case I also, watch for carbs and sugar. I am living proof it works and yes I do cheat. If you don't cheat you will eat everything in site. Try it and let me know what you think and if you have lost any weight. I will be glad to help you with it if needed. Keep following my blogs you will see recipes and other tips about weight loss.
Bye for now!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.

Beauty Tips For Moms

Every now an then, all of us forget about how we use to look before we had children. Our bodies may never be the same, but that's ok we earned that big belly and that big caboose. haha We are all moms, so we can joke about ourselves, it's better than crying about it. No quick fix!!! What we can do is start wearing make up. If, you don't wear make up ever that's ok. I know that after I had children I turned upside down and didn't know what to do with myself and didn't really care, I was sooooooooooooooooo tired. Any way keep it light and simple, remember you want your inner beauty to show the most, which takes over your light looking face. Ok give it a try:

1-Simple simple, if putting on make up takes more than 5 minutes forget it. Your now painting your face like a clown to try and hide something.
2-Find a concealer that matches your skin tone, then apply dots under your eyes, rub in with your finger. This helps hide our bagggsss, dark circles. If, you have time you can put a dot on a pimple,wart,moles,beauty marks etc............
3-Use a liquid foundation to make your skin tone. Rub in very lightly, you don't want to see a line at your jaw bone to your neck, if you do you know it's too much and the wrong color for you.
4-Use a transloosent face powder. This is a very light powder. Apply it with a brush not a puff. This keeps your face looking natural and simple.
5-Apply a blush that matches your skin tone. Very lightly, with a blush brush.
6-Pick your favorite color eyeliner and mascara. Apply lightly.
7-Eye shadow is really for when you go to a party or dine somewhere nice. Don't sweat it!!!
8-Light color lipstick, NO lipliner, again for a night out on the town.
9-The key to this beauty tip is to keep you looking fresh,light,simple and still be able to be a mom,but keeps you feeling good about your day.
10-Please tell me how you feel when you try my make up tips.

Moms I hope this helps aliitle. Just give it a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You will love you from the inside out.

Good Luck!!

Fashion Diva

That's me always shopping for the newest trend. I love looking nice and feeling like a woman. What's wrong with that. I shop smart to get the best buys, if I didn't do that I would be really poor. When I had my boys I felt so unattractive, I didn't care what I looked like. Kids take so much out of you. I know I get so stressed out that shopping is my therapy. When I'm down I don't care what I where as long as I had a shower. No make up. My boys don't like when I where make up. I don't even where alot. They tell me that is not a real mom all made up. That's because, I've left myself go for so many years, that they didn't see me with make up on. Now, at this time of my life, I feel that need to look pretty and take in all the complainments. It feels good!!!! I really miss being a diva. Fashion is so big for me, cause when I was in my teenage years I was a Model. I loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gave it all up for a guy. CRAZY....................................
What a lesson to be learned. It's to hard now to go back. I've had babies, my body will never be the same.
At times I wish I could go back in time and do things alittle differently, but I guess it's just not ment to be.
In order to be you follow this:

1-Make you #1
2-Don't let anyone tell you not to do something you have your heart set on
3-Look in the mirror and say to yourself your beautiful.
4-Change a hair style or color
5-Start painting your nails and toe nails
6-Do some shopping and try new styles
7-Get others opinions, but if your heart is set on it then follow your heart
8-Let your higher power in
9-Exercise,yoga or even belly dancing
10-Most of all love who you are

We can only change some things, we can't conquer the world and it's not even our job to do so. So no matter what the kids and husbands need or want, they have to learn that mom needs a life too and they need to be alittle independent. It's not the end of the world!!! They will survive. It's not fair to us to be last all the time, if we don't take the time for ourselves we will go crazy. I am thinking about joining a womans group. I love making crafts and socializing with adults then, children all the time. Of course you still love your family and that doesn't have to change, but enough is enough. Take care of ME #1 ME and you will find a difference in your marriage and your mom duties. If moma ain't happy NO bodys happy. Remember, you desire this more than anything. Go for it mom and be a fashion diva with every inch of you. Have fun!!!

Let me know how this works for you.

The Blues

This week has been so depressing for me. I just feel like I am losing everything, even myself. My son who is 14 went to the shore over the memorial day weekend. He says,"he forgot to call me and let me know he got there ok". I was hurt over that cause, I felt like he forgot about me and I had to track him down at the beach house they were staying at. I guess mom is the back burner now. I missed him. Sure I wanted him to have fun with his friend, but I wanted to also a count for something. I ask him to bring his brother back a sweatshirt or something, but he didn't do that either. I guess we don't matter to much any more. I love him so much, I can't bare to lose him. His brother is almost 11 and he loves him as well. He misses my older son all the time. I just think that it's a teenage thing right now. He has a girlfriend which is alittle scary. He's taking her to their 8th grade social dance. I have to take him out for dress clothes. This will be a picture I need to blow up. He never in his life been dressed up. I want to see this, but at the same time I just want him to stay himself. The boy I know and love is just perfect for me. I am afraid of him leaving me one day. I've been a single mom for a long time, and but my life on the line for him so much that I live through him in away and I am afraid to live on my own. I really don't know how to live without my kids. That's all I've known is that we will always be the three muskateers and we will always be there for eachother. We need to protect eachother from this crazy world they call life. I would die for my kids. They are not replaceable in any way. Also, my Birthday is tommorrow and I am upset about getting a year older. I hate it. I keep thinking about the world ending in 2012. I know I can't do anything about it if it does happen but, it's a little scary for me. I still need to learn to live not die. Then, finally a very big lost to me is my bestfriend Tina. Her Birthday is 5 days after mine and she is passed away. That really sucks. She was so young. I miss her a great deal. I will visit her grave this up coming week. It's so hard to do. I hope she is resting in peace, she desires that. She has went through so much hell in her short life. So, as you read this blog it's all about a sence of loss, the story of my life. I pray for better days ahead.

It's That Time Again!!

Bed Time!!! Yah Hoooo...... My favorite time of day. Each night I am so tired, that I pass out before I even hit my pillow. Being a mom all day takes too much out of me. I am beat. I feel like road kill, and the worse part is I have to get up and do it all over again tommorrow. I neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr get a break. When are these kids going to grow up and take care of me? NOT!!!! Who wants to hang out with an old lady???? Even though I took care of them, I don't see it happening for me. Well, I guess I will just grow old alone. Who Knows?? Moms deserve a pay check every week, that sound fair to me. We do so much that we don't find much time for ourselves. Being a mom just drains the life out of me. I love my boys, but there are moments that I just want to run away and never come back. It's easier to take care of me than everyones needs & wants. I ask myself what about me?? Well, at least when I go to bed I can shut the brain off and have a little me time. Morning comes to fast and I don't feel like getting up. I want to break the alarm clock. WHY ME??? I am still tired, but I have to get up and be the mom with a happy face. O'God please rescue me!!! I am pray for a moms day in heaven. Just think ALL you moms, we will finally have a break. Yah Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I am going to bed. When you go to sleep at night just think of all the me time in heaven. Bless you all.

Holidays

The Holidays make me depressed because our family is so spread out that,no one ever has a picnic anymore or any kind of a get together. It's sad,but it's just another way of how life keeps changing and giving us challenges to face everyday. So much has happened with our family over the years,that some of us don't even talk any more.Families fall a part at times,where everyone goes their own way.I guess that's how we grow. Even my 14yr. old son will be away for the weekend at the shore with a friend and his family. My 10yr old almost 11,will be playing in a babseball tournment all weekend. Well, for me I get quite time. That can be nice and alos lonly. My friend is a real dud. He never wants to go anywhere with me except if it's something that benefits him. It stinks. I would like to have a partner or friend to do things with at times.I think about getting a puppy that will love me and cuddle with me.The boys are just to old now for mom to cuddle with them. It's just not cool at all. That stinks!!!
O'well,at least I have the lord to count on.He's always with me.I am so thankful for that. I will read my:


Bible
Blog
Journal
Do word search puzzles
Go shopping
Who knows what else.....................................

The biggest thing will be fighting with my boyfriend.
Sounds like fun ................haha

The biggest challenge will be to make my younger son happy. If he's not happy look out. It will feel like the longest holiday weekend in history. He gives me a run for my money!! and takes it all too.

I pray for jesus to guide through each day.I trust his word and I know I will be ok.I also pray that they go fast in away,cause next week is my birthday and I don't like it at all. I really don't like getting older.How can I stop this?
I can't so just move on with life. I hope you all have a great holiday no-matter what you do.

God Bless

Being a Pregant Teen

Well, that was me many years ago. I am finally, telling the world my story. At 15yrs. old I found out I was pregant. It was very confusing to understand at the time how I really felt. In a way I was happy and I wanted this baby. I loved the guy who got me pregant and I thought he loved me to. He asked me to marry him before we even knew I was pregant. I also, felt really scared to tell my parents, so I went to my aunt and told her first, she said,"that my parents should know about this right away". She went with me to tell my parents that I was pregant. Of course it was a real shocker and my mom cried. My dad wasn't too nice about it. So, my mom made a gyn appointment to make sure the pee test was correct. Indeed it was. I go see the Dr. and he conformed to my parents that I was pregant. He said,"that if I tried to carry this baby there would be a good chance of me losing the baby or even I could die". He also, stated that my ovaries were not developed yet. At the time I did not know that ovaries don't carry babies until I was older. I truely believe that this was a plan between my parents and the Dr. too tell me that I had to have an abortion. Here I had no chance since I was underage. I remember signing a paper to have this abortion done, however in my mind I did not want it. No one wanted to hear me out, that I wanted to have this baby. I called my boyfriend and told him I was pregant. He did not believe me.
Then, I tried to talk with his sister who also had a teenage pregancy and she kept her baby. She called me a lier, as well as his mother. There was no support from either side. Just get rid of the baby was all I heard. Don't tell anyone it's a secret and my parents felt shame. I am their daughter who they brought into this world and I am human. They should of loved me no matter what. They didn't even try to find a way to help me to keep this baby. Like getting another Dr.'s advice. So, the abortion was set up for August 1, 1986. That baby was four months old and I killed my own baby. I don't know why they waited so long for the abortion to take place. The Dr. knew how far along I was. He didn't seem to care. The baby would of been born In Febuary 1987. When these dates come around it's so hard for me to deal with. The day of the abortion was done in a professional hospital. I remember cry and saying NO don't do this to my baby. I had a nurse on each side of me saying,"it's okay everything will be over soon". Well, it's been over 20yrs. and it's still not over. The nurses held my hands and kept talking to me as the Dr. used a sucction hose up inside of me to suck the baby right out of me. The baby landed in a bucket with blood and fluids. The Dr. asked me if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. I don't remember what I said, but he told me it was a girl. He also said,"that it wasn't so bad now, it's over". Maybe for him, cause he got paid to do the aboration, but it has had such an impact on my life that I can't believe I am still here. I laid bleeding and cramping and crying on my hospital bed. I was awake the whole time. My boyfriend broke up with me and I went on with life as nothing happened. I needed therapy, but my parents said,"give her time, she will be alright". I thought all these years myfriend just didn't believe me. Just recently I found him on facebook. We talked alot and then, we meet up the next day. He told me that he did know and he will always love me.We will always be connected. He told me he was sorry, and he wishes that he had support from his family, cause he was only 16yrs old. He was so scared and he comes from an abusive family. He ran away. The whole family just uped and left the area. No one knew where or why. I am so relieved now that he did really know and I don't have to suffer alone anymore. He killed the baby as much as I did. No chose. It is very sad to me and effects all qualities of my life. I got married and divorced,I had two boys too different guys,an eating disorder I still fight,anxiety and panic attacks,I live in alot of fear and trust no one. However, I love my boys but, they will never replace my first baby. OCD and alot of controlling habits make me feel empty. I will have this lose for the rest of my days. I go to therapy,I have help from my one sons BSC, but most of all I have Jesus. I know he has forgiven me. I went to lots and lots of meeting to help me deal with the pain. I have three different journals I write in everyday. My faith is what gets me threw the day and to be as good of a mom as I can for my children. I know my boys love me. To have a relationship is really hard for me. Sex is an issue,trust and everything that comes along with it. A commitment not only to that person , but to myself as well. I don't feel like I make good choices in life. So, this is my story and I pray for other teens and moms who go threw abortions. It may not affect you right away, but it will creep back someday. I understand fully about being a scared teen/mom, but if I could go back in time I would have that baby no matter what. Life is all about chances. My life lies in god's hands. I pray for all of you, and wish you the best. Please let me know what you think of my story.

Teenage Pregnacy

Cleaning Out.

On Saturday, I started my day with my usual bowl of Special K. As I was eating I thought about how I wanted to go shopping. Instead on the advice of my therapist, I did not and cleaned out all my clothes and shoes.  It was overwhelming,..
I lost alot of weight in the last year and most of my clothes were too big. I eat special k cause it tastes good and helps you stay on track with your weight. I shop way too much and I really needed to donate clothes and shoes. I feel it really helps you feel good about giving to people in need. I did feel empty inside when I saw all those clothes and shoes go out the door. I normally keep everything. I feel as though I just don't have a enough and I feel afraid. I want to go shopping now and try to replace my lost, but it will never bring back the other clothes.

shopping

I Married A Monster

What every little girl dreams of to marry her prince charming. I couldn't wait for this day to come. I knew what king of a dress I wanted and I would be so beautiful. My dad would give me away in a big beautiful church. I knew the minister since, I was little, that would marry me someday. Well, my fairy tale of a wedding didn't go so well. I married a monster and that's a nice word for him. He had all the say in the planning of the wedding. I thought that being married was a partnership,well not in this case. He was an army sargent. If you didn't do want he wanted he would abuse me:

Sexually
Mentally
Physically

See I told you he's a monster.

Anyhow, I didn't get the dress I wanted, no church wedding, no honeymoon ect....................
How disappointing is that?
All my life I waited for this day and it failed. I was so unhappy.
The next day I got up and said to myself, "what did I do" I want a divorce.
That was not what he wanted. I tried to stick with it for awile but, it just got worse.
Now, I can't trust anyone or feel any emotions for another partner. I don't want to be alone but, I couldn't live through the abuse.
I know everyone is different but, it really left me with a hardened heart. I am so afraid.
If, jesus wants a new relationship for me it will come, if not it wasn't meant to be.
No one deserves to be abused in anyway. I didn't believe in divorced , cause I didn't want to fail god or myself. All my life I picked the wrong person. I don't know what is wrong with me. I pray that someday it will all work out. My soul bleeds for true love from a good guy. I guest time will tell.
I don't want to leave this world, knowing I was never loved. My heart breaks.
My relationships go with the song "the rose". I love roses. I listen to that song I just cry like a baby.
It's so me. I go to therapy for many things that I challege everyday. I pray for a godly man.

Do you think I made the right choice?
How are your marriages or relationships?
Would you do it all over  again?
Please send me your opinions.

Food Shopping

It was that day of the week again. Yuk, how much different kinds of foods can you make? I get so tired of everyone wanting to eat something different at dinner time. They eat what is made or starve. I go too at least two different stores to save money. I use as many coupons as I can and only by things that are on sale. Probably, I am not saving money by using gas to go to other stores. O'well I try. I make a list before I go shopping using the sale flyer as a guide. Somehow I still come home with more and it wasn't on the list. It takes me about 3hrs to go shopping and return home. The real fun is putting it all away. If, your like me I am out of room in my freezer, but I had to buy it. Now, I am fustrated trying to get the food put away. I gather I am one crazy woman. I think to myself, "I am not feeding an army" who needs so much food? I just feel better when I am stocked up. I am OCD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been all my life. Just another thing in life to deal with. I will be 80yrs old and still in therapy.

How much do you food shop?
Do you go to different stores hoping to save money?
All comments welcome........................

A Moms Day

It's a new day with the same stuff to do.

Clean the house
Wash dishes
Make dinner
Wash clothes
Run errands
Make appointments
Return calls
on an on.........................................................................

No wonder I am so tired just thinking about it. I have to nap at least 2-3hrs. per day, just to turn off my brain. I need that little me time. When the boys come home look out:

Whats for dinner?
I need help with homework
Can you study with me?
Do I practice tonight or have a game?
Mom did you see my shirt anywhere?
Clothes get thrown on the floor
on an on.......................................................................

I think to myself, " this is what a mom has to do all the time" I quit!! I don't get paid for this job so I am leaving and never coming back. I am on strike. Having to do all this work and all I get is gref.

Boys are fighting
They don't listen
On the x-box to much
Never unplug anything
on an on.....................................................................

When is my time coming with a major break? Moms need to be rewared. We need to feel special not used by our families. We do have feelings even if were just girls. I try to go shopping, cause it makes me feel good. I like to look nice and to keep up with todays styles. I know my youth days are gone, but I look young and I am young at heart. When I put something new on it feels good. When I run out of new clothes I need to get more. It's my outer shield. It gets me noticed and that how I get the attention I need. However, people don't know what's really on the outside cause I don't show it. I look  to nice to have any eternal issues. That's what I want people to think. The reality is that when I take the shield off I am still in the same postion that I started from. I looked good but, I still sad and depressed. I need something that will last, not just another pretty face but, a long lasting success to be proud of. This mom stuff is not cutting it for me. I love my boys, but they're growing up and I need to let them. It's one of our challeges we face when our babies grow up and don't need us as much. I want them to have their own life, just as I should have one too. I need to keep focused and work on something succeeful that I can do and feel important about it. I am not just another woman or a mom, I have purpose and meaning too. It's time to put some mom stuff on hold and make a new memory that will last a life time.

A Test Of Faith

Today was an okay day I guess. I've been moody,depressed and stressed out for at least two weeks. I don't like being like this,however I feel like I just can't get out of it. Is this just a women or a mom thing? I do not know. I read my bible and journal everyday. At times that seems like enough,but other times I feel so low with myself that I start to loose my faith. That is the last thing I want to do. Without my faith in Jesus, I am nobody. I know he's in control, however I still find a way to fight against him. What am I doing? I know it's impossible, I will never win. This is gods kingdom not mine. I must leave everything to jesus. I do trust jesus and I do know that he's always with me. I am thankful for that. I just need to stay focused on what is really important in life. To top off the day, I was out looking for metals, this man was throwing out a box of glassware, he said,"take the whole box" so I did and in the box I found a key chain of a wooden cross. That was really cool. I felt my faith again. I believe that was jesus telling me he's always there. Don't ever give up!! I knew jesus never left me, I just had to let him back in my heart. That was a real test of faith for me.

Do you believe in a higher power?
How do you deal with your life?

Feel Like Crying

I had a really bad night. I ran into some teenagers in a car that threw a water balloon into my car window and it busted inside the car, leaving me drenched. The balloon hit my neck and that really hurt. I said, to myself (what did I do to deserve that) I felt like my faith was leaving me. I went out with the hopes of making some money and I somehow for whatever the reason was their target. KIDS!!! If my boys would of did something like that I probably would have a really big fine to pay. WHY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so angry that I called best buy about my bill and started freaking out on the lady on the other end of the phone, who probably thought another crazy mother. I am a time bomb. I just keep exploding at everyone. I guest moms need to vent at times, but I usually vent all the time. I need to run away, but for some reason they would still find me. You can run but, you can't hide. That's the truth.....I feel like poop.I can't deal with life anymore or is that I can't deal with myself. I am so in the dumps. Where did my faith go?

How would you feel being hit by a balloon for NO reason?
Would your children get away with it?
How would you feel?
Am I over reacting?


HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's Get Started!

I hope you were able to get some information about who I am and why I am creating this blog!

I had a wonderful weekend!  Generally I start my week feeling very overwhelmed, and exhausted.
But this weekend, I went to a Mom's Retreat.  This is something that I have been going to for five years.
It is an event that is set up for Mom's who need a break!  We all get pampered, get to relax and get away for a night!
We connect and share things about our lives with the women there.
We are all so different with different experiences and challenges but we all are alike in many ways as well.
It helps to make you feel that you are not alone.
We show our strength and faith through each other.
We take it home with us which helps us realize that our lives are not so bad after all.!

I love going to this yearly event even if it is only for one night, I helps me get through the next year.  It is something that I look forward to as I can share my experiences with the women, and realize we all have some kind of challenege that we face every day.

We cry,
We eat.
We share.
We laugh.
We make crafts.
We come home feeling appreciated and loved, bring these feelings back to our kids.

BUT the most important thing that we all take with us is our love for our higher power!  Without a higher power we are no one.

QUESTIONS:
I know I am just starting out.. I may not have anyone respond, but I am putting these questions out there to see if anyone else has been going through similar things and connect!

How was your weekend and how did you connect to your higher power?
How do you feel supported and loved?