I Married A Monster

What every little girl dreams of to marry her prince charming. I couldn't wait for this day to come. I knew what king of a dress I wanted and I would be so beautiful. My dad would give me away in a big beautiful church. I knew the minister since, I was little, that would marry me someday. Well, my fairy tale of a wedding didn't go so well. I married a monster and that's a nice word for him. He had all the say in the planning of the wedding. I thought that being married was a partnership,well not in this case. He was an army sargent. If you didn't do want he wanted he would abuse me:

Sexually
Mentally
Physically

See I told you he's a monster.

Anyhow, I didn't get the dress I wanted, no church wedding, no honeymoon ect....................
How disappointing is that?
All my life I waited for this day and it failed. I was so unhappy.
The next day I got up and said to myself, "what did I do" I want a divorce.
That was not what he wanted. I tried to stick with it for awile but, it just got worse.
Now, I can't trust anyone or feel any emotions for another partner. I don't want to be alone but, I couldn't live through the abuse.
I know everyone is different but, it really left me with a hardened heart. I am so afraid.
If, jesus wants a new relationship for me it will come, if not it wasn't meant to be.
No one deserves to be abused in anyway. I didn't believe in divorced , cause I didn't want to fail god or myself. All my life I picked the wrong person. I don't know what is wrong with me. I pray that someday it will all work out. My soul bleeds for true love from a good guy. I guest time will tell.
I don't want to leave this world, knowing I was never loved. My heart breaks.
My relationships go with the song "the rose". I love roses. I listen to that song I just cry like a baby.
It's so me. I go to therapy for many things that I challege everyday. I pray for a godly man.

Do you think I made the right choice?
How are your marriages or relationships?
Would you do it all over  again?
Please send me your opinions.