Tired Of Being Tired

The day is long,but the night seems so short. The alarm goes off and I say, (here we go again). I want a change in my life. I need a break or a vacation or something, and yet I don't know if that will be enough. How do we really know how to enjoy our lives, when we have been living for our kids the whole time. It's like being back in school and trying to date again. I am so tired of thinking that it makes me even more tired. I love my boys, don't get me wrong, but if I would have know how much of my life was taken up with children, I would of thought about it more. We don't know what our future holds, and it all happens for a reason. I am still trying to find out what that reason is. I am just so tired of being tired. I need some spice in my life. It's hard to do what you want when the kids come first. Being a mom is the hardest job I ever did. I don't get a pay check for this job. I get other rewards that take the place of that pay check. However, it's rewarding to yourself when you do make money cause it gives you something else to do than be a mom. I feel that women in general need to feel wanted all the time. We feel good when we do a good job for someone,even if it's for our families. The sense of being fullfilled is very important to us woman. Habit by creature. I need love from all angles. I know that jesus loves me and that is very important to me. He is the reason why I keep on living and getting up everyday to venture out. I have to try something new and fun. I need a good laugh or cry. I feel like I have nobody and even sometimes I feel like I am losing myself. Again, that is where jesus pulls me out of the recage and spares me for one more day. That's all we have is a day by day book that helps keep us grounded.I will take that, it's better than nothing. So, when your feeling to tired to hold up your head ask jesus to hold it for you and he will.He wants you to ask for help,he knows you can't do it alone. He's the reason for the season,so make it a season everyday. God Bless

My Best-Friend (Tina)

Today is a very special persons birthday, My best friend, Tina. She would of been 41 today, if she was still living. She passed away about 10yrs. ago. It was a drug over dose that killed her. She had a bad heart problem as well, and her heart gave out. I miss her so much. We have been friends since the 7th gr. She watched my younger son be born. She was the kind of person who would of gave you the shirt off her back.Way to young to be gone. I went to visit her grave and put flowers there. What a gift!! She left behind three children. The children all went to different foster homes. Her husband was a drunk and drug addict. He didn't want to get clean to take care of the kids. Her youngest will never know her, he was only 2yrs. old. Her daughter was 5yrs old and her oldest son was 11yrs old. What a shame to grow up with no mom and too be seperated from your siblings. Such a crying shame. No child should have to bare this. Her marriage was bad, he beat her up so bad and put her in the hospital. She wouldn't leave him. She was afraid of being alone raising 3children. Finally, one day she realized so deserved a better life and she starting going to church every Sunday and she would help out as much as she could at the church. She changed her life around so much. She went to meetings for her additions and problems. In the mean while she got a PFA on her husband, which removed him from the house. Then, she meet a guy at one of her meetings and she started to go down hill again. Welfare took the kids from her. They were in different foster homes. She couldn't deal with that. She would of done anything for those kids. Her bringing up in her younger years were a living hell. She never knew her real father until her mother was on her death bed. She found him and also a brother she never knew about. She always felt like she never belonged anywhere. All she want was love and a family. No matter how hard she fought for it, she just kept getting let down. I am so glad she got to know the lord, before she passed. She showed me how to pray. When she passed, her family didn't care enough to give her a proper funeral. They creamated her, I know she wanted to be buried next to her mother. Didn't Happen that way. I never got to say goodbye to her. She is always in my heart and I am so glad I got to know her. We had our moments, but when push came to shove, we were always there for each other. I love her and always will. I never forget about her. In my year book she signed it NEVER SAY GOOD BYE and that is just what happened. The night before her passing she called me on a cell phone and I couldn't hear her and we got disconnected, that was the only late moment I had with her. If only I new what she was saying, I might of be able to have helped her. I will never know. In my heart I know she is happy now and she finally found the love and family she deserves. She has earned her wings and watches over me. I feel very lucky to have had her for my best friend even if it was only for a short time. The lesson that I learned was life really is to short and you can't go back, so always remember to love yourself,god,your children and your life that you have, it's all for a reason. It's a journet that we must go through and it's not easy, but as long as you have jesus that's all you need. In loving memory of Tina

Weight Loss

We all want to have the perfect body. I have an eating disorder and I am diabetic with a thyroid problem as well. I could go on an on about my problems. I take 23 pills a day. WAY too many!! So, in August it will be a year since I started to change my life with my weight. I was always use to being thin and build good. After kids,operations and other things that I battled in my life I gained alot of weight. Since August I lost 40lbs. NO DIET, NO EXERCISE. Let me tell you how I did it. It is very hard, especially because I am a food addict. I want sweets all the time but, it made me sick and I would end up in the hospital on a regular basis. They found nothing wrong each time. For only if I would stop stuffing my mouth with the wrong foods which now I call them poison. I just can't have the poison unless I want to be sick and in the hospital. NO FUN!!!! So what I did was look in my diabetic book to see what I could eat and how much. I learned that I can't have seconds for dinner. Dinner must be your biggest meal of the day. You need a carb,protein,fat and of course the calories. DO NOT eat a hoagie with a diet soda, it doesn't work that way. I eat special k ceral or multi-grain cherrios with 2% low fat milk and then a small banana. Some days I have a 1/2 a glass of diet cranberry juice or trop-50 orange juice. For lunch I have a salad or a slice of pizza or a peanut butter sandwhich on wheat bread. There is other stuff to eat as well. I also have an apple.
I have a snack late afternoon like mini rice cakes,crackers,peanuts,pretzels etc... Then dinner time. I have a small piece of a lean meat with a free veg.and 1 starch, that's it NO SECONDS. Later in the evening for a snack I have yogert or popcorn, or crakers or an apple with peanut butter or cheese stick etc....... When I stick to eating good each day then, I start to lose weight. It is a slow process, but you want to keep it off.
It's a life style change and the whole family can eat the same way, it's good for them. The key is to watch your fat content and calories. In my case I also, watch for carbs and sugar. I am living proof it works and yes I do cheat. If you don't cheat you will eat everything in site. Try it and let me know what you think and if you have lost any weight. I will be glad to help you with it if needed. Keep following my blogs you will see recipes and other tips about weight loss.
Bye for now!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Beauty Tips For Moms

Every now an then, all of us forget about how we use to look before we had children. Our bodies may never be the same, but that's ok we earned that big belly and that big caboose. haha We are all moms, so we can joke about ourselves, it's better than crying about it. No quick fix!!! What we can do is start wearing make up. If, you don't wear make up ever that's ok. I know that after I had children I turned upside down and didn't know what to do with myself and didn't really care, I was sooooooooooooooooo tired. Any way keep it light and simple, remember you want your inner beauty to show the most, which takes over your light looking face. Ok give it a try:

1-Simple simple, if putting on make up takes more than 5 minutes forget it. Your now painting your face like a clown to try and hide something.
2-Find a concealer that matches your skin tone, then apply dots under your eyes, rub in with your finger. This helps hide our bagggsss, dark circles. If, you have time you can put a dot on a pimple,wart,moles,beauty marks etc............
3-Use a liquid foundation to make your skin tone. Rub in very lightly, you don't want to see a line at your jaw bone to your neck, if you do you know it's too much and the wrong color for you.
4-Use a transloosent face powder. This is a very light powder. Apply it with a brush not a puff. This keeps your face looking natural and simple.
5-Apply a blush that matches your skin tone. Very lightly, with a blush brush.
6-Pick your favorite color eyeliner and mascara. Apply lightly.
7-Eye shadow is really for when you go to a party or dine somewhere nice. Don't sweat it!!!
8-Light color lipstick, NO lipliner, again for a night out on the town.
9-The key to this beauty tip is to keep you looking fresh,light,simple and still be able to be a mom,but keeps you feeling good about your day.
10-Please tell me how you feel when you try my make up tips.

Moms I hope this helps aliitle. Just give it a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You will love you from the inside out.

Good Luck!!

Fashion Diva

That's me always shopping for the newest trend. I love looking nice and feeling like a woman. What's wrong with that. I shop smart to get the best buys, if I didn't do that I would be really poor. When I had my boys I felt so unattractive, I didn't care what I looked like. Kids take so much out of you. I know I get so stressed out that shopping is my therapy. When I'm down I don't care what I where as long as I had a shower. No make up. My boys don't like when I where make up. I don't even where alot. They tell me that is not a real mom all made up. That's because, I've left myself go for so many years, that they didn't see me with make up on. Now, at this time of my life, I feel that need to look pretty and take in all the complainments. It feels good!!!! I really miss being a diva. Fashion is so big for me, cause when I was in my teenage years I was a Model. I loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gave it all up for a guy. CRAZY....................................
What a lesson to be learned. It's to hard now to go back. I've had babies, my body will never be the same.
At times I wish I could go back in time and do things alittle differently, but I guess it's just not ment to be.
In order to be you follow this:

1-Make you #1
2-Don't let anyone tell you not to do something you have your heart set on
3-Look in the mirror and say to yourself your beautiful.
4-Change a hair style or color
5-Start painting your nails and toe nails
6-Do some shopping and try new styles
7-Get others opinions, but if your heart is set on it then follow your heart
8-Let your higher power in
9-Exercise,yoga or even belly dancing
10-Most of all love who you are

We can only change some things, we can't conquer the world and it's not even our job to do so. So no matter what the kids and husbands need or want, they have to learn that mom needs a life too and they need to be alittle independent. It's not the end of the world!!! They will survive. It's not fair to us to be last all the time, if we don't take the time for ourselves we will go crazy. I am thinking about joining a womans group. I love making crafts and socializing with adults then, children all the time. Of course you still love your family and that doesn't have to change, but enough is enough. Take care of ME #1 ME and you will find a difference in your marriage and your mom duties. If moma ain't happy NO bodys happy. Remember, you desire this more than anything. Go for it mom and be a fashion diva with every inch of you. Have fun!!!

Let me know how this works for you.

The Blues

This week has been so depressing for me. I just feel like I am losing everything, even myself. My son who is 14 went to the shore over the memorial day weekend. He says,"he forgot to call me and let me know he got there ok". I was hurt over that cause, I felt like he forgot about me and I had to track him down at the beach house they were staying at. I guess mom is the back burner now. I missed him. Sure I wanted him to have fun with his friend, but I wanted to also a count for something. I ask him to bring his brother back a sweatshirt or something, but he didn't do that either. I guess we don't matter to much any more. I love him so much, I can't bare to lose him. His brother is almost 11 and he loves him as well. He misses my older son all the time. I just think that it's a teenage thing right now. He has a girlfriend which is alittle scary. He's taking her to their 8th grade social dance. I have to take him out for dress clothes. This will be a picture I need to blow up. He never in his life been dressed up. I want to see this, but at the same time I just want him to stay himself. The boy I know and love is just perfect for me. I am afraid of him leaving me one day. I've been a single mom for a long time, and but my life on the line for him so much that I live through him in away and I am afraid to live on my own. I really don't know how to live without my kids. That's all I've known is that we will always be the three muskateers and we will always be there for eachother. We need to protect eachother from this crazy world they call life. I would die for my kids. They are not replaceable in any way. Also, my Birthday is tommorrow and I am upset about getting a year older. I hate it. I keep thinking about the world ending in 2012. I know I can't do anything about it if it does happen but, it's a little scary for me. I still need to learn to live not die. Then, finally a very big lost to me is my bestfriend Tina. Her Birthday is 5 days after mine and she is passed away. That really sucks. She was so young. I miss her a great deal. I will visit her grave this up coming week. It's so hard to do. I hope she is resting in peace, she desires that. She has went through so much hell in her short life. So, as you read this blog it's all about a sence of loss, the story of my life. I pray for better days ahead.

It's That Time Again!!

Bed Time!!! Yah Hoooo...... My favorite time of day. Each night I am so tired, that I pass out before I even hit my pillow. Being a mom all day takes too much out of me. I am beat. I feel like road kill, and the worse part is I have to get up and do it all over again tommorrow. I neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr get a break. When are these kids going to grow up and take care of me? NOT!!!! Who wants to hang out with an old lady???? Even though I took care of them, I don't see it happening for me. Well, I guess I will just grow old alone. Who Knows?? Moms deserve a pay check every week, that sound fair to me. We do so much that we don't find much time for ourselves. Being a mom just drains the life out of me. I love my boys, but there are moments that I just want to run away and never come back. It's easier to take care of me than everyones needs & wants. I ask myself what about me?? Well, at least when I go to bed I can shut the brain off and have a little me time. Morning comes to fast and I don't feel like getting up. I want to break the alarm clock. WHY ME??? I am still tired, but I have to get up and be the mom with a happy face. O'God please rescue me!!! I am pray for a moms day in heaven. Just think ALL you moms, we will finally have a break. Yah Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I am going to bed. When you go to sleep at night just think of all the me time in heaven. Bless you all.